ABC Gets New Board Members – Tom Wolfe, Cedric Dickerson and David Matthews

There’s nothing like a fresh start. If by fresh it means that you switch up your board by tossing out an attorney, a businessman, and a banker to replace them with a 70 year old real estate broker, a 55 year old insurance agent, and the 75 year old former president of a corn syrup-based conglomerate (Cadbury Schweppes). Two of these guys have probably been told by their doctors to never have another drop of the booze they now monopolize.

This new board will spend countless hours examining what went wrong with the previous system without examining the the obvious answer: This shit should not be run by the state because the police can never police themselves. Like other successfully run alcohol progams in other states, you should be able to buy booze at the Harris Cheater and at privately owned liquor stores until 10 or 11 pm. You still tax these places. You sell more. It’s win-win. But no! Alcohol is a danger to the public. If ABC doesn’t control it there will be chaos and riots and murder in the streets!

What we get now is the same type of organized crime syndicate that we had before, but this time with the smiling faces of MEN who are really happy to have the cushiest job in the state. Think about it. What will they really do from 9-5? Here’s our best guess:

(That Dickerson guy is not happy with Wolfe and Matthews.)

Here’s a fresh idea: How about appointing a few young men and women (more than three) who are not old enough to understand life prior to the Korean War, who don’t have colostomy bags in their pockets, and who understand that their positions on the ABC board are as outdated as the people who occupy them. Get on that, Star News.


Comments Off on ABC Gets New Board Members – Tom Wolfe, Cedric Dickerson and David Matthews

Filed under Uncategorized

Comments are closed.