Oil Leak In The Gulf Capped? We Can Write About WB Again


OK. As of right now the worst oil disaster in history is over. This magazine came to a halt when the leak started because that was the only story worth following…and a good time for us to take a break from the petty bullshit on WB.

Now Let The Games Begin Anew!! Bring on 2012 and more disasters!

By the by, the volcano in Iceland is still smoking, we are still at war, the Haitians are about to turn to cannibalism, the oil leak effects will be felt for a hundred years or more, Todd still runs the Palm Room, and Buddy’s got some phoney drink specials.

If you want good news, you should check out Wrightsville Beach this weekend. It is THE social event of the season. It’s the Sweetwater Pro Am Surf Fest! Jam On It!




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Old Beach Cottages Continue To Burn

No one likes a house fire, except for pyros and people who get excited about sirens and flashing lights. Once again, the area near Greensboro and Henderson Streets became a hotbed of activity this week because of a burning older home. once again, it was the neighbors who were aware of what the smoke from a house fire looks like that saved the lives of animals, if not people. Fire engines and emergency personnel from around the area performed an admirable job within ten minutes of the initial 911 call.

It’s that old wood, from decades ago, that is dry and ready to burn that continues to be an issue. Whether it’s the two homes on Henderson, the one on Stone Street, or this new one on Greensboro, we all live on a very flammable island full of untreated wood that may one day be our undoing…again. The Great Fire of 1934 destroyed over 100 cottages. 

New construction methods and a more efficient emergency response will prevent anything that catastrophic from happening again, but the people who chose to live on a slice of Paradise, in a fire trap, should do everything they can to protect themselves, their roommates, and their animals from the dying. Every home needs smoke detectors and fire extinguishers. Educate yourself about fire prevention and escape. It’s a nice beach, but not one worth burning to death over.

The following info is on the WBFD website: http://www.townofwrightsvillebeach.com/Departments/Fire/FirePrevention/tabid/93/Default.aspx

Free Smoke Detectors & Fire Extinguishers

In interest of promoting fire safety in our community, The Wrightsville Beach Fire Department is distributing free smoke detectors and fire extinguishers to Town residents & property owners.
A member of the fire department will deliver the equipment and explain the proper procedures for operating it.

Sign up for your delivery appointment today. Call the fire station at (910) 256-7920 or email Chief Smith at fsmith@towb.org.

Quantities are limited, so equipment will be distributed one per residence on a first come, first serve basis.

This program is sponsored by the Wrightsville Beach Volunteer Firefighters Association, Inc.

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We Were Wrong…Kind Of

Wrightsville Beach has decided not to ban smoking on the beach. This issue will undoubtably come up again before the board of aldermen in the coming years, but in the meantime you can continue to smoke your life away while you soak up the sand and stare at whatever you stare at out there. Frankly, no smoking on the beach may be the best idea because the day may soon come when you flip a cigarette near the ocean, you’ll start a fire.

The upside of the decision is that the fine for littering, which includes cigarettes, has gone up from $100 to $250. Just like that! Talk about compromise. Banning smoking would not have made more money than this hefty new fine. Plus the town gets to make up nifty new signs and the officers get warn young ladies about the dangers of littering cigarettes. This sounds like a win-win for everyone, and fuck you if you don’t carry your cig butts off the beach and get hit with the fine.

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Dust Cleaner Is The All The Rage. Yea!



Don’t want to wait for your pot plants to mature? Don’t want to risk blowing up your house manufacturing meth? Don’t know friends with prescriptions for designer drugs? Is cocaine cost-prohibitive? Are you in a rut that you feel you need to escape from? Then try dust cleaner–the alternative way to get high for cheap. This last week has seen two arrests and one wrecked vehicle from huffing. Hopefully the teenager was not taking our advice on how to get to Causeway Park in a previous article.

From http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20080925011248AAWsoHh :

“The ‘duster’ high only lasts a couple of minutes at most. But it creates a high similar to alcohol, as well as a sense of euphoria. Short term side effects include headaches, nausea and vomiting, slurred speech, loss of motor coordination, and wheezing.

Most people that are high on duster are able to control themselves. They can make normal decisions like everyone else. They might act a little weird, but they’re not going to have any really visible side effects. Even if they have crazy side effects, they’re only going to last for a minute or two at most. It would be difficult to identify whether or not they are using, unless they are caught huffing.

Also, remember that you can huff just about anything: Glade, Lysol, hair spray, whipped cream cans, gasoline, propane and many, many other things.”

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Bad Perception Of WB In A Hard Economy Is Bad For EVERYONE

We’ve been railing about this shit for years. Some said we took it too far at times, but now it’s nice to see that it is “breaking news.”

Wake Up, Wrightsville Beach Merchants! You do not want this perception to spread, maybe via the internet…oh, wait. Too late.

Funny headline from the WWAY  website on May 13th:

Beach Perception Leaves Some With Salty Taste

Submitted by Joe Mauceri on Wed, 05/12/2010 – 10:38pm.READ MORE:

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WRIGHTSVILLE BEACH, NC (WWAY)- “I consider Wrightsville Beach a very welcoming beach,” said Wrightsville Beach Mayor David Cignotti. “It’s a great place to live and visit and I think our residents take pride in welcoming people to our community.”

But with a recent increase in parking fees and a ban on smoking at the beach under consideration many of our viewers say that can’t be further from the truth.

WB wrote,”Come on, they are trying to drive everyone away from “THEIR BEACH”. You know they only want locals there. I am sure they will allow the locals to smoke where they want to. It is like parking there.”

With parking spaces already in high demand, town officials voted to raise the price to two dollars per hour, just a few months ago. But Cignotti says the increase was necessary to help meet the demand when the Wrightsville Beach population grows from 2,500 to 25,000 during the summer months.

“That effort was made to try to bring in the money to try to provide the services that not only visitors, but everybody expects.”

LA 46 wrote, “The residents dont want you over there, unless you are a rich tourist whose gonna rent an expensive place for the weekend. If you are a local, they don’t want you there. The beaches belong to all of us.”

But Mayor Cignotti says residents realize how important tourists are to the local economy, and agrees everyone should share the beaches.

“Wrightsville Beach considers itself a family beach. If you ever go around the loop and look at all the moms and their children walking it you know that it’s a place that we take pride in having families here.”

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You’ve Been (Over) Served! Alcohol Law Enforcement Begins Crackdown


Usually, when ALE walks into a bar and starts checking licenses and liquor stickers, it’s a good idea to pause your drinking habits and wait for them to leave. Now, on the heels of the death of the 19-year old at Liquid Room, and just in time for summer, come the tickets for over-serving customers. Apparently, you cannot appear intoxicated in a bar when there are undercover ALE people sitting nearby. Yeah, it’s a bar. Yeah, people are drinking. Yeah, alcohol affects people differently. Yeah, there is a now a fine line between Greater Wilmington and Tiananmen Square, China.

When you visit crowded public places in China, the fact is that there will undercover officers everywhere and anywhere that maintain order. London and New York City have similar law enforcement tactics in effect due to terrorism. Wilmington has chosen to use undercover ALE officer visits as a warning to all bars about the consequences of underage customers and over-serving. It used to be a tactic that was used only for under-aged drinking, but the line is being stretched. Now the desired effect is to successfully wage psychological warfare on servers so that they make the “right” decision before serving someone. “Sir, are you drunk enough yet?”

Here’s how two scenarios worked out last weekend:

A young Marine walked into a downtown bar and orders two shots for himself and a friend. An undercover ALE officer (who is allowed to have one drink) is sitting at the bar and radios his sober partner to come in and check the Marine’s ID. It turns out the Marine is of legal drinking age, but the undercover officer claims that he “fumbled” with his money and is therefore too intoxicated to be served. He is given a breath test (though he may not have been driving) and the bar is fined and it’s reputation is affected by the ensuing newspaper story.

In another incident, a young woman was ID checked by ALE at the bar after the sober partner was called in. When she turned out to be in her mid-twenties, they told the bar that the customer was slurring her words and was therefore over-served, and the bar’s reputation was…

And that’s how they will roll this summer.

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Causeway Park: A Diamond In The Really, Really Rough

Above is the view from the park. Where is this place? Make like you are going to drive off the island and before you get to the drawbridge, jump the median with your car, avoid the concrete wall on the south side of the bridge, barrel down the embankment while tapping the brakes, make a sharp right turn when you get to the bottom of the hill, and you are there. That way is actually a lot safer than trying to get there from this side of the drawbridge. You also can cross the bridge, come back across it, make your first right turn, then another quick right, go straight for about fifty yards, and you are there. Anyway, it’s where the Causeway Cafe and  Bluewater Grill streets intersect. Good luck finding it.

When you do find it you are in for a gem of a treat. Not only will you be the only person in the park…that day, but the view of the yachts and the bridge is great! There’s even a patch of rocks at the railing that are provided for you to throw at the passing boats, which may be a crime (be careful).

This is the red-headed cousin’s stepsister of parks in the area. The plants are overgrown and block the path. There is a huge concrete light pole that sits in the center that may make you want to bow down and pray to Thomas Edison. The evergreen trees are randomly planted, but the lawn is mowed and the grass is pristine. It’s very noisy underneath because of all the cars rolling overhead, so we are recommending this as a dating spot for deaf couples. If you are at Bluewater Grill and you want to get away for a quiet make-out session, this is a good place to go.

Oh, and hands off! We love this park the way it is. Please don’t add flowers, sculptures, memorials, or anything else that upsets the unnatural order of things down there. It’s weird enough as it is.

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